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6.30.2005put it all on black
i'm interviewing alkaline trio tomorrow, anyone want me to ask them anything? i only ask because i suck at interviewing...
anyway, i've been slacking on my cedar point info, so here's the new attraction for 2005 that i can't wait to throw up on, er, i mean ride on -- maXair. here's a quicktime animation for you. 6.29.2005god damned effing a-hole slimeball morons
the republican controlled congress is threatening to take away major league baseball's anti-trust exemption if the washington nationals are sold to liberal billionaire george soros.
are you fucking kidding me? OH MY GOD. i'm sorry, but since when does the federal government get to decide who should and should not be able to own major league baseball teams? THIS IS A GODDAMNED FUCKING JOKE. i try not to get pissed off about these things, but this is just ridiculous in every sense. they are blatantly and loudly telling major league baseball: do what we tell you or we'll fuck you up real good. what the cunt? does the fucking russian mafia run our governement? hell, i almost wish they were, because at least these fucking piece of shit politicians would get their skulls blown into little bits. GOOD JOB AMERICA. YOU'RE NOT FUCKING UP THE COUNTRY OR ANYTHING. not that democrats are anything to write home about, mind you. all these idiotic gun control laws are starting to piss me off. yes, i would love to see no guns in our society. it would be wonderful. but that's never going to happen. why? because bad people will always have guns. and as long as bad people have guns, good people should have guns. and i don't just mean police. just because you're a cop, doesn't mean you're a good person. sorry. i mean, who's gonna hijack a plane if they know that half the people on it are gonna be packing? who's gonna walk into a bank and start shooting people if they think there's a chance that at least a few people in there are gonna shoot back? who going to mug and rape a woman if there a good shot she'll blow your nuts off? yes, there will be tragic accidental deaths, this is true. but if you don't think that violent crime would drop, you're crazy. granted, i'm not against background checks and such. ex-cons should not be allowed to have guns legally. that's obvious. but otherwise, i don't have any problem with grandma packing heat at church. 6.28.2005if i only had a brain
last night i had this great idea for a post and i was all psyched to write it and i was gonna do it last night but i was watching the yankees come back against the orioles so i decided to wait until later to do it because i figured that an idea as good as the one i just thought of couldn't possibly be forgotten because i'm a pretty smart guy who is fairly good at coming up with ideas for stuff to talk about even though sometimes they are lame and totally suck ass but then again a lot of times there are bloggers who are lame and suck ass and don't even know that they are lame and suck ass so i am ahead of the curve in that regard which makes me happy because sometimes i don't think that i'm all that good at doing this sort of thing but then again you fools keep reading and i still have a blog and nobody's shown up to kill me yet so i think that's a pretty good sign and i opened a bottle of wine last night that i bought at moore brothers and it was fucking amazing and it sort of tasted like slightly dried blueberries but it was WAY more complex than that and i really enjoyed it even though the pork chop that i had for dinner was a little bit overcooked and dry but that happens sometimes and i didn't cook it anyway so i wasn't complaining but i've totally lost focus here because my original point is that i was supposed to write about something really awesome and i totally forgot what the hell it was even though i was basically trying to beat it out of my brain last night it's probably gone forever never to be recovered from the attic of my brain but that's ok because sometimes shit happens and there's nothing you can do about it, you know?
6.27.2005it's a veritable cornucopia, if you will
first of all, saturday night was a legendary beer die night. three rookies got their first beer die experience (two females) and all performed admirably. our friend sarah, playing for the first time, not only got a plunk, she got back-to-back plunks. the second being of the bouncer, freshy variety (in other words, it bounced into a freshly filled cup). her team, however, was not victorious, losing a tough 9-8 overtime battle in a game which was deemed an "instant classic." in the final game of the night, k-dizzle scored the game winning point to give us a 9-8 win in a game that featured a highlight reel catch by yours truly. k-dizzle, it should be noted, was completely wrecked, and still mustered up the ability needed to squash our foes. it was the stuff legends are made of.
speaking of beer drinking sports -- did you see/hear jeremy roenick? he went off and i thought it was great... i also saw super size me yesterday. i enjoyed this movie a lot, and have sworn off fast food french fries for all of eternity. let's see how long that lasts. seriously, though, there was definitely some stuff in the movie that gave me the creeps. especially since i ate taco bell right before watching it, which maybe wasn't the smartest move (but then again, when is taco bell ever a good idea?). if you haven't seen this movie, it's definitely worth watching. it's highly entertaining, and this guy is way less annoying than michael moore. from this moment up until the great lollapalooza/cedar point trip of 2005 i will be featuring a different ride from cedar point in every post. today it's the magnum xl-200. built in 1989, this was the first mega-coaster to get up to 200 feet high. it's still one of the best coasters on the planet. here are the specs for all you crazy nutjobs... 6.25.2005that veronica vaughn is one fine piece of ace
if anyone gets the chance this weekend, check this out. you will be able to see mercury, venus, and saturn all super close together in the sky. should be pretty neat...
6.23.2005the proof is in the halo
a conversation which occurred yesterday afternoon:
[16:02] moosejaw7: dude, shoot me in the head [16:02] moosejaw7: seriously [16:02] nomedaboy: ok... 8:30 sound good? [16:03] moosejaw7: yeah [16:03] nomedaboy: i'll bring my plasma pistol [16:04] moosejaw7: and battle rifle? [16:04] nomedaboy: yeah [16:04] moosejaw7: you're going to noob combo me? [16:04] nomedaboy: i can noob combo you [16:04] nomedaboy: that would be an excellent way to go [16:04] nomedaboy: quick and painless [16:04] moosejaw7: true [16:06] nomedaboy: that was a very amusing interchange we had there... i find it quite funny... [16:08] moosejaw7: haha [16:09] moosejaw7: it also makes us dorks on a scale which is immeasurable 23 minutes later: [16:32] nomedaboy: i still think you should blog that... securing your dorkdum in the annals of internet history [16:32] moosejaw7: probably a good idea [16:32] nomedaboy: i mean, you HAVE to let everyone know how much a loser you are so, there you have it. in case you didn't know already, it's now official. 6.20.2005grillin' like penicillin
apparently, grilling can give you cancer. unless you drink guinness with it. then it cancels out the cancer causing stuff. it's also okay if you marinade the meat in a non-tomato based substance before cooking it. but if you use barbecue sauce, then not only will you get the nasty carcinogens, you will get two to three times the amount of them.
damn you, carcinogens!! why do you taste so good? oh, and if you mix in cherries with your hamburgers, that will apparently help decrease your risk as well. of course, it will also make you want to throw up in your mouth. however, it is perfectly okay to grill vegetables as much as you want. they will not harm you. but seriously, how many veggies can you really grill? and which ones would you even want to? you know you're gonna get made fun of... a lot. "perfectly acceptible veggies to grill without looking like a fucking pansy": leeks, portobello mushrooms, zucchini, squash, onions, peppers, tomatoes (but only small ones, and only on kabobs) "grilled veggies that will make you seem less manly than richard simmons sucking on a banana": broccoli, cauliflower, celery, carrots, anything french sounding by the way, yes, i know tomatoes are fruits... suck on it. 6.16.2005lolla-dilemma
day 1
1:30 -- ambulance ltd vs. and you will know us by the trail of dead vs. the dead 60's 2:30 -- kaiser chiefs vs. vhs or beta vs. liz phair (well, only b/c she's ridiculously hot, but that's just as good of a reason as any) 3:30 -- brian jonestown massacre vs. dashboard confessional vs. gouging out my eardrums with an auditory shovel (not the name of a band, in case you didn't quite catch on to that one) 4:30 -- the bravery vs. cake (this one might be rough...) 7:30 -- the walkmen vs. the pixies (another tough one, but having never seen the pixies, they're sort of winning right now) 8:30 -- digable planets vs. weezer (of course, if i go see digable planets in new haven, then that makes this decision a whole lot easier) day 2 5:30 -- g love & special sauce vs. the arcade fire (really, it's not even close. g love doesn't stand a chance. i just threw him in the mix for old times' sake) 7:30 -- the dandy warhols vs. the killers (i dunno. the killers always seem pretty boring on tv whenever i see them live) 8:30 -- death cab for cutie vs. widespread panic (er, are you kidding me? like widespread panic has ANY chance...) any suggestions?? today's 8 nuggets of wisdom, brought to you by stray slacker
things i learned on my trip to the bank:
1. fat, ugly, poor people walk incredibly slowly... in pairs... side by side 2. it is perfectly acceptable to stop in the middle of the road with your car to talk to someone in their car in the opposite lane and continue your conversation for nearly a minute 3. when parallel parking behind someone who is leaving, you should stop halfway through and just sit there making it incredibly difficult for the person leaving to do so 4. if you cut someone off, you're ok as long as you put on your signal after you've entered that person's lane 5. lindsay dunn (a chick i went to college with) is one of the hottest chicks on the planet... ok, it wasn't her, but it looked like her and all i needed was a reminder 6. when taking a left at a light, please signal once the light has turned green and not beforehand 7. i drank too much last night 8. driving incredibly slowly in the left lane on the highway is still the norm... espcecially when you are in a rental truck and must move into the left lane as i am approaching even though there is no one else on the road 6.14.2005the life moronic
first topic: girls.
i rarely ever talk about girls on my blog. most of the time, it's simply because my dating life doesn't ever make me freak out to the point where i need to write about it. well, not anymore at least. i used to freak out about it all the time when i was younger, but now i just kind of don't give a shit. haven't for a couple years. anyway, i just wanted to point out that girls are freaking insane, and you all make me effing crazy. you take a perfectly good boy, who's all nice and happy and not giving a shit, and make him become a giant idiot. and frankly, i'm not sure whether to thank you or yell at you. at least i guess you help keep things interesting... second topic: the life aquatic with steve zissou okay, as much as i tend to respect the opinion of one of the wittiest chicks i've never met (however, she lives on the west coast. but i'll let it slide...), i have to disagree with her about this movie. i really enjoyed this flick and am happy that i finally got a chance to see it. the first fifteen minutes or so sucked me in, and, while the pace of the movie slowed considerably after that (i mean, it is a wes anderson movie), i enjoyed it thoroughly. i mean, i understand that it's not really anything fresh. wes anderson has done this before. this could very well be royal tannenbaums set underwater for half the movie. you know what, though? i liked royal tannenbaums, and i like this movie too. sometimes it's good to keep things on a level that is comfortable for the viewers (and, granted, sometimes it isn't). i mean, take indiana jones, for example. raiders was awesome. we all know this (and if you don't, get out of here and don't ever come back). then came temple of doom. lucas messed with the formula, as he tends to do, and created something with a totally different feel. now, i'm not saying temple of doom was awful, but it certainly wasn't great. but in the third one, he went back to the well and created a movie similar in style and content to the original. the last crusade, in my humble opinion, is even better than raiders (which i know most of you disagree with, but whatever, get your own blog). my point is, there's nothing wrong with doing the same thing again and tweaking the formula, especially when it worked pretty well the first time. i think wes anderson did a great job of taking moments of sorrow, humility, and triumph and creating a film that is charming, funny, and fantastical which can only get better with a second viewing. thankfully, she does give credit where credit is most certainly due. that being to bill murray (of course) and especially willem dafoe, who was nothing short of brilliant. but that's not to take away from the rest of the usual suspects who we know and love. it is, after all, their talent that is able to make a movie like this work. 6.09.2005yes, virginia, there really is an nhl season in '05-'06
nothing is official yet, but it's looking more and more like everyone is finally coming together to get the nhl back on track.
the owners and players have agreed, in principle, to some kind of salary cap. it has something to do with a percentage of something or other... i dunno. i don't care. just play some hockey. also, i hear people saying how nobody cares that hockey is gone, and nobody will go to the games. this is totally wrong. initially, i agree. teams will have a drop off in attendance. but, there are so many rules changes going on right now that are in favor of making hockey a much more exciting game, that people are going to actually enjoy watching hockey games again. next year there will be: -- no tie games... they are going to a shootout after overtime. sweet! -- less offsides... it's a bunch of technical stuff. bottom line is: less stoppages, more speed. -- smaller goalie pads... equals more goals. that can't be bad. i know, that sounds crazy, but i'm telling you, hockey will be fun to watch again this year. and this time, the NHL means it. they have to. 6.07.2005we put the "fun" in corporate hell
here's what i have to look forward to:
-- now all schedule requests have to be submitted at least two weeks in advance -- apparently, we are going to have scheduled breaks... ooh, i can hardly wait -- i wont be able to have a paid vacation day until september 6th -- i'm lucky enough to have to work the day after thanksgiving -- i still can't check my e-mail -- i'm not allowed to use IM -- late night meetings every other week -- who knows how long i'll be able to actually access pretty much anything else on the internet it's a good thing when i got hired they told me "the great thing about working here is we're a young company so you don't have to deal with all that corporate red tape." right. of course, i can't tell any of you where i'm working, b/c if anyone from my company ever sees this, i don't want to get fired. yet. 6.03.2005a dunkin' donuts blueberry iced coffee haiku, sort of
blueberry coffee
better than morning blow job i am not kidding ode to mcdonald's breakfast
golden arches' polarizing pull
needs to make my tummy full give me all my greasy goodness artery clogging morning muses sausage biscuit with bacon and cheese make my hash browns crispy please those mcgriddles sure are good i'd eat them all day if i could wash it down with juice of orange what the hell else rhymes with orange? this fast food combo can't be beaten nothing else i'd rather be eatin' i don't want no dumb croissan'wich that burger king is ronald's ass-bitch carl's jr. licks my bag those breakfast bowls they make me gag give me gas and diarrhea still i'm always glad to see ya maybe too much information about my chosen mastication |
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