Hartford Whalers -- Did You Say "Over?" Nothing Is Over Until We Decide It Is!

4.22.2005

obviously...

IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES

HOUSE CONCURRENT RESOLUTION NO. 29

BY WAYS AND MEANS COMMITTEE

A CONCURRENT RESOLUTION STATING LEGISLATIVE FINDINGS AND
COMMENDING JONATHAN GIBBONS AND THE MAGICAL LAND OF LLAMASACK
FOR THE PRODUCTION OF THE BLOG "REMEMBER THE WHALERS.

Be It Resolved by the Legislature of the State of Whalervania:

WHEREAS, the State of Whalervania recognizes the blatantly obvious vision, talent and creativity of Jonathan Gibbons in the writing and production of "Remember the Whalers"; and

WHEREAS, the scenic, beautiful, and magical land of Llamasack, County of Crotchpucker
and the State of Whalervania are experiencing increased tourism and economic growth (I fucking wish); and

WHEREAS, blogger Jonathan Gibbons is a native Whalervanian who was educated in the Whalervania public school system; and

WHEREAS, the Llamasack High School administration and staff, particularly the really
hot secretaries who give great hummers, have enjoyed notoriety and worldwide attention; and

WHEREAS, "being a total loser" figures prominently on this blog, thus promoting Whalervania's most famous export; and

WHEREAS, the friendship between JG and the Thighmaster has furthered relationships between one’s hand, one’s special purpose, and her royal thighness; and

WHEREAS, Jonny Gibbons' beer die skills are a testament to Whalervania athletics; and

WHEREAS, Michael Bolton's rollerblades and the King Whale's segway promote better
air quality and carpooling as alternatives to fuel-dependent methods of transportation; and

WHEREAS, Ron Mexico's recent run-in with the law, as reported here, promotes the importance of safe sex in the magical land of Llamasack; and

WHEREAS, Peabs' trip to Coz' Flizzum-Flazzum Factory highlights a long-honored Whalervania vacation destination; and

WHEREAS, Alexa's escort service promotes entrepreneurism and self-sufficiency in Whalervania's small towns; and

WHEREAS, Isabella's artistic rendition of dropping a deuce is an example of the importance of the written arts in K-12 education; and

WHEREAS, the Llamasack High School sex-education class fosters an awareness in
Whalervania's youth of public service and civic duty to satisfy all sexually depraved residents; and

WHEREAS, the "Happy Hands" club (NSFW) is an example of the importance of theater arts in K-12 education; and

WHEREAS, Miss Macy's efforts to build a better dildo illustrate the positive connection between arts & crafts and lifelong relationships; and

WHEREAS, Jon Gibbons (or as we like to refer to him, "the hottest piece of ass to ever
walk the planet") and his relationship with OKCupid is a tribute to e-commerce and Whalervania's technology-driven industry; and

WHEREAS, Marcello and Carrie's wedding shows Whalervania's commitment to healthy marriages, even if it turns your friends into raving wussies; and

WHEREAS, the prevalence of poon tang as a primary food group pays tribute to Whalervania's cat industry; and

WHEREAS, the Hangover Hockey League emphasizes the importance of both drinking to
excess and physical education in Whalervania public schools; and

WHEREAS, Pucky the Whale, Dave "Tiger" Williams, and Gerald Diduck (haha –"duck," get it???) showcase Whalervania's animal husbandry; and

WHEREAS, any members of the House of Representatives or the Senate of the
Legislature of the State of Whalervania who choose to vote "Nay" on this concurrent resolution are "Effing Retard Morons" and run the risk of having the "Living Shit Beaten Out of Them"

NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED by the members of the First Regular Session of
the thirty-second Whalervania Legislature, the House of Representatives and the Senate
concurring therein, that we commend Jonathan Gibbons and the magical City of Llamasack
for showcasing the positive aspects of Whalervania's youth, rural culture, education system, athletics, economic prosperity, diversity, and just overall fucking awesomeness.

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that we, the members of the House of Representatives
and the Senate of the State of Whalervania, advocate always following your heart and/or
dick, and thus we eagerly await the next blogtasatic undertaking of Whalervania's Jonny"El Gato" Gibbons.

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that the Chief Clerk of the House of Representatives be,
and she is hereby authorized and directed to forward a copy of this resolution to Jonathan
Gibbons, the Mayor of the magical City of Llamasack, the Principal of Llamasack High
School, and all hot girls.

Posted by: jg / 1:41 AM / /

talk to me, dance with me

blah, blah, blah...

the yankees starting rotation for 2011? yikes.
i definitely think the winter classic is better during the afternoon.
whalers? yeah. still not back in hartford.
i don't believe in new year's resolutions. i just believe in doing shit because you want to.
i'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy.

hartford whalers links

sure sign that i'm maturing

i'm thirty-three. yes. it sucks.

blogworthy

facebook shmacebook

tv is more of a parent to me than you'll ever be

video games being played by me

tiger woods 2011 (wii)
angry birds (iphone)
halo: reach (xb360)
game dev story (iphone)
nhl '97 (genesis)

get off your ass and go somewhere

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