a spanish title? that can only mean one thing. that's right, boys and girls, tequila.

before i rate the tequilas, i will offer my own recipe for the perfect margarita. it's really a simple thing. you mix 1.5 oz. of tequila, 1.5 oz. of triple sec, 2 oz. of sour mix, and 1 oz. of rose's lime juice. shake vigorously. that's it.

obviously, a better tequila will yield a better margarita. as will using freshly squeezed lime juice (sweetened). some people swear that cointreau or grand marnier will make the margarita better, but i think the difference is negligible at best. it's not worth the price difference.

oh, and by the way, cool people drink margaritas with salt on the rim. don't be a pussy.

rather than list tequilas by producer, i will list them by type. it's easier to compare them this way.

gold: gold tequilas generally are crap. at least that's what i've found. they are the cheapest, and usually work fine when used in mixed drinks like margaritas or tequila sunrises. gold tequilas usually are mixed with other ingredients, such as caramel, to change the color and taste. don't do shots of this shit. seriously. if you wanna do shots, spend some extra cash and get yourself a nice tequila. you will notice a HUGE difference. examples of gold tequilas would be jose cuervo or sauza. if you really must get a gold tequila, go with herradura. at least it's decent.

silver: these tequilas are generally good, and not as expensive as the really good stuff. they tend to be a little bit smoother and taste better than the gold tequilas (although, drinking my own urine would taste better than many gold tequilas, so that's not saying much). patron silver and sauza tres generaciones are both decent, but don julio is one of the best silver tequilas that i've had. do NOT buy cabo wabo. it's sami haggar's tequila. do i need to say more?

reposado: tequilas that are aged in oak barrels for anywhere between a couple months and a year. these are very good, and tend to be a bit pricey. if you want a nice tequila, though, this is certainly a good way to go. again, i'd stay away from cabo wabo, but, really, you can't go wrong with just about any of these. chances are, the more expensive it is, the better it's going to be. gran centenario makes a good one, as does patron, and don julio. i think that sauza hornitos probably gives you the most bang for your buck.

añejo: these are the best tequilas money can buy. they are aged in oak barrels for at least a year, and are kick ass. even the crappy ones, like 1800 añejo, are still going to be better than most gold and silver tequilas. again, with these, the more expensive ones tend to be better. gran centenario añejo is an excellent tequila that does not cost as much as the super expensive ones. the really amazing super expensive shit is in a league of it's own, and is not meant to be slugged down in one gulp. if you're not going to drink it slowly and enjoy it, you're wasting your money. normally, i would put something totally inappropriate and funny here, but i'll give you a break today.

also, there are strange tequilas out there. patron, for example, makes a tequila which is mixed with kahlua. it's damn tasty.

stock your bar with: a gold tequila (for margaritas), a good silver tequila (for shots or better margaritas), and a mid-priced reposado or less expensive añejo. if you can afford to buy more tequilas and taste some of the super expensive ones, you suck and i hate you.

really, when it comes to tequilas, no matter what type you get, the same producers generally make the best products in all categories. generally, you want to stay away from cuervo or sauza, unless you are making margaritas, in which case, it all depends on how tasty you want your margaritas to be and how good your bartending skills are. the worse the bartender, the more a good tequila will make up for it.

for shots, you can't go wrong with patron, don julio, gran centenario, and herradura. they're all quality tequilas, and basically just comes down to a matter of personal preference.

the best way to find out which ones you like is to go to your local tequila bar, and get fucking shitfaced. if you can't remember anything the next morning, do it again. just keep repeating the process until you've educated yourself, or your blood has been replaced with 100% agave.